Trying to understand a Libra male…

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First and foremost, sorry for being MIA. Life’s been pretty hectic lately and I’d be lying if I said I remembered I had a blog… oops. But I’m back! With updates on my love life of course (amongst other things), but this is most important. At least in my world it is. Hehe.

If you haven’t read my last post you can read it here. Basically, I left my crazy boyfriend and met a new guy. Amazing guy, and amazing relationship so far. Only problem? He doesn’t like “going down” and that worried me. But that has since been cleared up and we are good to go on the sexual train… choo choo!

But I have yet another issue. Well, not really “issue”, just my over-thinking on overdrive.

Basically, I consider myself a zodiac/astrologist specialist. Not really, but I just like to think this. The past few years I’ve developed an absolute fascination for anything zodiac related. I’ve gotten deep in touch with my own sign in addition to every relationship I’ve ever had and what signs they were. Every single one being spot on. I’ve never been more mesmerised that your date of birth and a few google searches and articles could explain so much about your character and personality traits. And hey, to each their own, but I am a firm believer in the sun sign match-ups and which zodiac signs I’m destined to be with or not.

Now, back to new “bae”. I’m a Leo, and he’s a Libra. For those unfamiliar with astrology, this combination of fire and air is a solid and perfect match. Bingo!

I’ve dated Pisces, Leo, Taurus and Aries before… and every one of those relationships were horrible. So, this is my first Libra baby and I couldn’t be more content. They say for the most part a Leo-Libra relationship will be smooth sailing. I’m fire, he’s air. Leo’s love compliments, and Libra’s love giving them. He grounds me and I show him how to enjoy life. We understand each other. And all of that couldn’t be more true, at least up until this point. Although we’ve only been together a few months I truly don’t see it falling off the hinges any time soon. We get along effortlessly and have the exact same mindset/goals/dreams everything. We are always on the same wavelength and can understand each other without even saying a word. It’s crazy. I’ve never been able to communicate and understand someone so smoothly. Libra’s like to avoid conflict so I don’t think we will be getting into very many steamy arguments. Unlike my crazy Pisces ex. Dear Lord. Never again will I date a Pisces.

So you’re probably wondering why this article is titled “Trying to understand a Libra male…” if I already have it figured out.

Well…

One of the negative downfalls of a Libra male is being too flirtatious. As a Leo, we like to feel like the Lioness of the jungle, since, well, we are. Libra’s are pretty loyal but apparently don’t see anything wrong with a little harmless flirting. I can agree, as I myself can sometimes accidentally flirt without intentions of pursuing.

Here’s the situation. “New Bae”, as we will refer to him, was talking to a girl last year. For the purpose of this article, her name will be Jill. Jill and Bae were only seeing each other and apparently nothing happened. They even stayed in the same room together in Jamaica (while on a group trip) and nothing happened. She then left Bae soon after and got back together with her crazy steroid-rager ex boyfriend. Jill is also drop dead gorgeous and has a perfect bod. Screw you, Jill.

New Bae has been pretty open with his past relationships and I try to make it clear that he can tell me anything and I won’t judge him. Well, I won’t judge him to his face… but I will run scenarios thorough my head all day. Ah, the life of an over-thinker.

He told me that he doesn’t talk to Jill anymore, as she is back with her boyfriend. But, his cell phone and text message history say the opposite. They talk almost every day, but boring conversations. “Hey, how are you. Good you. How was your day. Going to hockey bye” … that kind of thing. Not really flirty at all. So why am I worried? Because throughout their boring nonchalant conversations he hasn’t mentioned me once. Hmm.. fishy?

So far, he’s introduced me to his entire family and ALL his close friends. He even brought me to his work party and introduced me as his girlfriend (yes, we are finally official). So, if he can introduce me to dozens of his closest family and friends, why hasn’t he told Jill about me? It’s not like he didn’t have the opportunity. Numerous times she asked him what he was up to and he would just say “oh not much catching up on sleep”… when really we’ve had a date planned for weeks. This was alarming and I drove myself insane for a few days trying to wrap my head around it.

He is absolutely crazy about me. And we spend every single weekend together, all weekend. We talk all day every day when we aren’t together. And he has a strict gym schedule he follows so I know for a fact he goes to bed at 9:30 on weekdays. So, do I think he’s cheating? Not at all. Do I think this is the weird Libra trait in him, possibly.

Just when I thought I lost hope in my crazy over-thinking mind, he left his phone laying on his bed one night after we got home from the bar. Now, before you jump to conclusions, I am not the type of girl to lurk a boyfriend’s phone. Never have been. I didn’t touch or lurk my ex’s once in 3 years. For the most part I trust easily and believe everyone deserves their own personal space. I wouldn’t want anyone in my phone either. But for some reason, something inside of me told me I had to check and see what the deal with Jill was.

Sure enough, he was talking to Jill the past few days about nothing interesting once again. Until I kept scrolling, and he asked her “Starbucks one night when you’re free?”

I was ready to unleash on him. I was ready to end it right then and there if this was the case. I was so upset and stood in his room shaking while reading the message. He told me he doesn’t talk to her, yet here he is asking her to go for starbucks? Makes no sense.

But something told me to keep reading… so I did.. and I saw that Jill said this: “so, are you seeing someone? I saw a picture of you guys on my newsfeed, she’s a total babe”

…Oh, well. Why thank you Jill.

His response? “Yes I am. She’s absolutely amazing. We met randomly and have been inseparable ever since. We get along really great. It’s been a long time since I’ve had something serious so we will see where it goes. But as of right now it’s going good. How are you and Steve? (her ex) Are you guys working on things?”

Okay so, what just happened there?

He went from lying about his plans on the weekend and not mentioning me, to asking her out for starbucks, to sending a novel about how amazing I am. Does this make sense?

If Bae and Jill were only friends, why wouldn’t he just tell me that in the beginning instead of lying and saying he doesn’t talk to her anymore?

Why would he lie to Jill and tell her he’s not doing anything on the weekend but catching up on sleep when he was really on a double date with me and his 2 friends?

Why? I just can’t wrap my head around this. Maybe he is afraid to tell me he has a close girl friend because he’s scared I might get jealous? But really, hiding her from me is way, way worse. I don’t care if you have friends of the opposite sex, as I do too. So why wouldn’t you just tell me this up front?

Or maybe he secretly still does like her? And didn’t want her to know about me? Why is he asking her to get starbucks?

Basically, wordpress, I need your help once again.

Am I overreacting? Or is this something alarming to most. I mean, he did say a really nice paragraph about me, and when I ask him if it’s okay to post pictures of us on social media (he hates pictures but takes them because I love them), he said “of course you can babe, I have nothing to hide, post as many as you want”

At the end of the day I still don’t have a doubt in my mind that he is head over heels for me. I also don’t think he would cheat. But, once again, this is my defence mechanism kicking in trying to save me from heart break once again.

I think I’m getting so worked up because the relationship I just got out of, yes, the one I left to be with New Bae, was so horrible. He (my ex) messaged me out of the blue the other day telling me he cheated on me all summer. Whether true or not, no one wants to receive a message like that from someone they shared their life with for a whole year. I think this over reacting is just me putting my guard up. Looking for any and every clue to cheating so I won’t have a repeat of what happened this summer.

I guess only time will tell.

For any Libra males reading this? What goes on in your brain?  And for any females who have been involved with a Libra male before, did you notice they were harmless flirters? Did they lie a lot about pointless things? I know Libra’s like having balance. Maybe he’s just scared of tipping the scales, so he keeps things to himself.

Let me know your thoughts down below! I’d love to hear some insight.
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Shamelessly,

Kate

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Trying to understand a Libra male…

What to do when he won’t… “Go Down”

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So here’s my dilemma. I figured this would be an appropriate first blog post, as the main reason I created this blog was to get ideas on this particular subject.

Quick breakdown:

I was in a relationship for just over a year, a very unstable and emotionally abusive relationship in which I finally decided to leave. I met a new guy who is absolutely amazing, and one of the main reasons I left my delusional sociopath of an ex – for him.  He is the male version of me. To be honest, I really like myself. So, when I found myself in a male version it was love at first encounter. But I’ll save that for another post.

He’s basically everything I’ve ever wanted in someone, and more. I’ve dated quite a few people and had so many different relationships I’ve finally figured out what I want in a person, and he seems to fit the criteria just perfectly.

Well… almost perfectly.

Seeing as I had just gotten out of a relationship, we waited a bit before we did anything sexual. It was a mutual decision and he was perfectly fine with it. Nearly 2 months into the “relationship/seeing each other” .. things.. uh.. finally happened. The first time we did it was on his couch (classy, huh), I think the urge couldn’t withhold any longer and we just went for it. We went from kissing… to hand gestures… to the act itself… but there was never any oral involved. I didn’t think much of it at the time, and besides, the sex was great.

So it happened again (this time on a bed), and again, and again. Until I finally realized we still haven’t done anything “orally”. Maybe he was shy? Maybe he was afraid to make the first move? Besides, any kind of hookup is awkward in the beginning anyway, right? Wrong.

I finally worked up the courage to come straight out and ask how come he hasn’t “gone down there yet” .. and for the record, I haven’t gone down on him either. Mainly because he hasn’t. I know it has nothing to do with hygiene, as ‘veronica the va-jay’ gets washed every day, and in nature I am an extremely germaphobic/hygienic person. So this couldn’t be the issue.

His response? “I’ve just never really been a fan.”

Sorry, what?

So I continued to question, I asked if he’s ever done it and he said yes, but rarely. I asked how his previous girlfriends felt about that and he said “They never really mentioned anything about it”. Really? That’s my absolute most favourite part of sexual encounters, and I’ve never had a partner who hasn’t willingly done the deed – for the most part, most of them actually enjoyed it.

It felt like my little imaginary perfect world I created in my mind for the two of us, came crashing down. Well, not really, just being dramatic here. 

Therefore, my fellow wordpresser’s, could you date someone who doesn’t “go down” on you? And if any males are reading this, same goes for you. Could you date a girl who doesn’t give head?

I just can’t seem to wrap my head around the whole situation. I don’t want to pressure him into doing anything he doesn’t want to, but I also really wish he would voluntarily do it? Maybe I can convince him over time. Who knows.

At least there’s a positive of this whole situation, I don’t have to do it either.

Partial win.

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Shamelessly,

Kate.

What to do when he won’t… “Go Down”

A little bit about myself…

Hello!

First and foremost, thank you for visiting my blog! This is my first attempt at channelling my inner “blogger”, so bare with me as I explore the endless opportunities of expressing my deepest.. most intricate inner thoughts. Or in this case, thoughts of a modern day ‘betch’.

If you haven’t put two and two together, my name’s Kate! Is this my birth name? No. Am I using a secret undercover, almost unexplainable alias on here? Quite possibly. I guess you can say I’m gunning for the whole “Gossip Girl meets Regina George” vibe here, but I do prefer to remain (somewhat) anonymous. I see this blog as more of a diary open to the public, without having to give too much personal info. As I’ll be sharing some uncomfortable, embarrassing, pathetic and down right dirty posts – the best way to completely be myself is to, well, not be myself.

What I can tell you is that I’m 21, currently living in Canada. I’m an extremely work-oriented, goal setter who’s accomplished quite a lot for my age. I have a very good career and only just begun venturing into it. I have a big social group, which will probably be the root of many posts on here, and I absolutely love life. I love everything about life and the excitement it brings. I love meeting new people, having deep thoughts, taking long walks and trying to figure out why I did what I did last night… story of my life.

Welcome to Shamelessly Kate. If you can relate to my weirdness in any possible way, I encourage you to follow me along my blog journey. New friends always welcome!

K.

Float a dream.

A little bit about myself…